I apologize for the long delay between posts. Suffice to say that 'everyday life' got the best of me! Actually, suffice is way to bland a term, too generic, benign, vanilla if you will. What I meant to say was, 'OH MY GOD, I LET LIFE GET THE BEST OF ME AGAIN!'
There, I feel better now. The weights on my shoulders shifted just enough to make the load manageable. You know, that one sentence has helped me to uncover the flaw in my lifestyle, the fly in my ointment, the monkey in my wrench (borrowed that one from a Bruce Willis flick). My priorities are all honked up! How so? I have too many priorities. And guess what, apparently I'm not one of them!
Now, that is not meant to be a selfish realization or observation. On the contrary, it's a healthy exercise in self realization. Really I hear you ask? Yes, I think so. Actually, I think it is healthy for each of us to step back and take a personal inventory so to speak. In my case, and I am only qualified or entitled to speak for myself. In my case I must admit that I may have too many priorities. I've accumulated so many in fact, that they are overlapping and thereby cancelling one another out as priorities.
It's my own fault, nobody elses'. I allowed that to happen. Why you ask? I was just trying to everything to everyone, physically, mentally, socially, and emotionally. Which I now understand to be an impossibility, except for God of course. And believe you me, I do not envy Him this ability!
That being said, let me take a minute and rack and stack these priorities I've taken on. You may find this helpful when you do your own personal inventory. There is God of course (numero uno, although shamefully He hasn't always been). There is my family and my new family (this is quite a large number). There are my friends (close, not so close, and nearly close). There is my work, my passions, my hopes, my dreams. Of course in the process of tending to each of these, they tend to overlap and compete, co-exist, and prayerfully compliment one another in a tapestry of love and devotion.
So, what is my point? The point I'm trying to make is that missing from that list was myself. And if I push myself aside, well, my writing, my creativity goes with it. God has blessed me with many gifts, a talent for observation and expression being keen. But, all of my aforementioned priorities and so much more are equal blessings. What I've discovered is that there is room for all of them as long as I keep God first in my life. As Peter wrote in Philippians, "I can do all things through Christ Jesus." I'm discovering these truths late in my life, but I am discovering them none the less.
Thinking about it again, I'm realizing that I was overlooking an obvious pattern. As I ran through my inventory list:
"I need to do this for so an so..."
" I need to spend time with so and so..."
" I should call so and so..."
" I need to help so and so..."
" I love so and so..."
There it was, right in front of me. 'I' was included all along. All I had to do was slow down and pay attention. I think that is how God works, he leaves us clues and allows us to discover what He's always known about us all. "Slow to speak and quick to listen..."
Writing is my way of expressing my love and devotion to God as well as to each and every one of the priorities I listed in my personal inventory. With the right attitude, they are cared for and thought of every day of my life. And while physically there are only so many minutes in the day, spiritually there is eternal life. A life I share with them all, happily!
And so, I'm back in business boys and girls...:P
"let's see, where was I...?"