For Tuyet, Katrina, KaSandra, and Luc
my inspiration
"THE MIGRANT"
Chapter Nineteen
The smell of pancakes cooking nearly overpowered me!
The warm fresh aroma of the batter as it bubbled and tanned on the hot griddle
wafted from the kitchen and across to the counter that I was perched on. I
watched as the waitress, Patty her name
tag read, paraded them by me in a steady stream around the diner, covering
all points of the compass. There were buttermilk, blueberry, banana,
strawberry, buckwheat, and every now and then a golden brown waffle. Oh Lord not the waffles, each of them
with a gooey pile of sumptuous strawberries and a healthy dollop of home made
whipped cream crowning the heavenly concoction! The smells were driving me mad,
I had to force myself not to leap onto the next plate that passed me and lick
the pat of melting butter right off of a warm stack of hotcakes!
Picking
up the thick ceramic mug in front of me I took a big gulp of freshly brewed
coffee and washed down the saliva before it drooled onto my shirt. Eggs and
home fries to the left of me, French toast and sausage to the right, it was
almost too much to bear. Just as I was about to surrender to temptation and
spear a sausage link dowsed in maple syrup from the plate nearest me, Paulie’s
booming voice rescued me from my shameful moment of weakness.
“Ah,
Ah, Ah,
Ethan buddy, you want to start your new job doing penance for Oscar Meyer?”
Startled, I stealthily retracted my wandering fork
and laid it next to its brother and sister, the knife and spoon.
“Oh man,
this is a heck of a way to start the day. First, I’m last in the pancake queue,
and now I’m totally waylaid by a tip toeing grizzly bear!”
Paul
laughed and sat at the counter next to me, patting me on the shoulder as he did
so. He tossed his P-coat over the two seats next to him and signaled to Patty
that he would like some coffee. I looked at him with a furrowed brow turning my
face into a question mark. That was of course, as everyone knows, the universal
facial expression for what, why, who,
when? Paul nodded in acknowledgement that my silent message was received
and shot me the equally well known just a
sec signal, the single index finger wave, as he thanked Patty for bringing his
coffee and asked for two more as well. He took a quick sip and set his mug
down, giving Patty the okey-doke gesture making an “O” with his thumb
and index finger, thanking her for the mighty fine cup of joe she had brought
him. Then he turned to me and said, “Kenny, Carolyn and Shannon are right
behind me. I saw them as I walked in; they were parking the car in the lot.”
“Oh,” I
replied, nodding my head.
“Well
buddy, are you ready for your trip to sunny California
As fate
would have it, today he and I would be flying as far as Chicago South China Sea . We had been within a few hundred miles
of each other the entire time I was in country with the Marine Corps, and never
even knew it.
I grunted
and nodded an affirmative reply, then pointed to my cup as Patty breezed by,
indicating that I wanted a refill. She blew the hair from her eyes and gave me
a look that made me wish that I had been more polite with my request. I mouthed
an apology and she smiled weakly, making me feel even more like an ass. I made
a mental note to make sure that I absolved myself by leaving an obscenely large
tip when we left. I also made yet another
mental entry onto the list, volume
three now (major backsliding during finals week in 1972). The tinkling chimes
on the front door rattled and rang, turning the heads of a few restless
children as they looked to see what the cat dragged in.
“Over here
Kenny,” Paulie shouted at our friend as he entered the diner with his family
and my sister in tow. Ken waived at us and I flagged down Patty to ask about a
larger table. She leaned across the counter holding a half-full coffeepot and
motioned for me to do likewise.
“A big
group just left, I’ll have the table bused ASAP, it’ll just be a minute
Father,” she said sweetly.
“Thanks,” I
said awkwardly. I had forgotten about the collar and was embarrassed by my
assumption that she might be interested in me. For a millisecond I thought that
I was still just a regular guy, I could see that my new status was going to
take some getting used to. Ken and company reached the counter and the hugs and
greetings got started.
“Well if it
isn’t the great Father Kelly, top of the mornin to ye Father, top o’ the
mornin,” Kenny said in his best Irish accent. It wasn’t bad for a first
generation Chinese American, actually he did a much better German accent, but
then he had been practicing that one on Carolyn’s parents for a while now. I
hugged my buddy and we did the standard guy back slap, just to make sure
nobody got the impression that we were enjoying the embrace more than we should
be. Carolyn nudged in and broke up our hug-fest and kissed me on the cheek. She
was holding Sophie as well, so I got a double smooch as the child landed a wet
kiss on the other side of my face.
“Hello
Ethan, I’m so proud of you,” she said, beaming at me.
“Me too,
Uncle Ethan, me too,” Sophie added, reaching out with both arms for me to take
hold of her. Carolyn released her into my arms and Sophie hugged my neck as
hard as she could, making her little growling sound, pretending to be the
Incredible Hulk. It was a little skill she acquired from her Uncle Paulie, much
to her parent’s dismay.
“If I had a
nickel for every picture that was ruined by that awful face that Paul taught
her,” Carolyn lamented, swatting Paulie on the shoulder as she said so.
“OK, break
it up you two, take the donnybrook outside, let me in there to hug my big
brother,” Shannon said playfully. Sophie fussed a little as I gently handed her
over to her mother, and I stood to embrace my sister. Shannon and I held onto
each other for a moment and then she leaned back just enough to look up into my
eyes. She held my gaze for a second, her eyes clear and sparkling, and then she
pushed away from me, retreating a step or two. She stamped her foot just like
she did when she was a child and gruffly folded her arms in front of her.
“Oh,
I am so mad at you Ethan Kelly,” she said startling the others and me as well.
“I’m sick
and tired of always saying goodbye to you!”
“I want you
to promise me that this will be the last time,” she said feigning anger, and
then smiling to set everyone at ease again. She laughed and poked at me, looked
around the room, and made sure that everyone heard her when she added, “I’m kidding, I swear, I’m only kidding.”
I watched
her and she saw that I was watching. I knew she wasn’t kidding, and she knew
that I knew. Shannon went over to Paulie and
hugged the big man like he was a six-foot version of Buster, the rag tag teddy
bear we shared as kids. Paulie hugged her back, a bewildered look on his gob.
He made eye contact with me, an odd if not somewhat guilty expression on his
face that said, “where did that coming
from, she hates me!” Before I could think of what to say to either of them,
Patty arrived to brake up our small reunion, and lead us to our freshly cleaned
table in the corner of the diner.
“This way
folks,” she said with a smile. And we all followed her to take our seats like
the dutiful and hungry young Americans that we were!
Nearly
ninety minutes later and following the feast of the decade, we sat chatting
idly while we waited for Patty to bring our check. Kenny was skillfully working
over his teeth with a toothpick, which by the way, was fascinating Sophie to no
end. And Carolyn was keeping Paul and Shannon in stitches telling the story of
the time Ken and Sophie tried to give, Wilson ,
Sophie’s black Labrador puppy, his first bath.
Sophie had named the puppy Wilson Wilson Wilson
Meanwhile,
back at the ranch, Sophie, who had lost interest in her Dad’s amateur dentistry
as well as the dull banter of the other chitchatting adults, had fallen asleep
while we weren’t looking. She was now napping comfortably curled up in my lap.
I looked down at her and watched her breathing softly and smiled to myself. To
be honest, I was a little envious of Kenny right at this moment; he just seemed
to have it all going for him. Father Mac had warned me that these sorts of
doubts and heartaches would come and go throughout the life of a priest. It was
normal to envy he said, but it was quite another thing indeed to covet.
This was
one of the reasons that it took so long to become a priest. It was why novices
were given an opportunity to serve before taking their vows. Because giving up
the secular life was a difficult decision for everyone, it was meant to be
difficult. The call to service was deeply personal, and could be misread in
many ways. In order to truly understand whether or not the calling was for you,
it was important to count the costs, to understand the sacrifices, as they were
to last your entire earthly life.
I looked
over at Ken. He had joined in the retelling of the dog-bathing incident and was
correcting Carolyn on a couple of key details, bringing even more laughter to
the table. I then looked around the diner, it was still pretty busy and I could
see that our waitress had her hands full. I decided that the last thing she
needed was another me first gesture
from across the room. I looked out the
window and watched the traffic move slowly.
It was
fairly light as opposed to nonexistent like yesterday in the wake of the
blizzard. During the night the snowplows had piled drifts four feet tall on
either side of the street, but there were still more pedestrians than autos.
Sophie stirred in my lap and nudged her way into a more comfortable position
continuing with her nap. As she pushed against my coat I felt the papers inside
my breast pocket. Reaching in, I removed them, and unfolded the two-page
letter. It was the letter that I had received three years earlier from Mitchell
Rojas’ wife, Elena. I stared at the letter a moment without reading the words.
I
remembered the day it arrived in the mail, re-routed to me from Albany
Dear Father Ethan,
I wanted
to write and tell you how grateful I am for the nice letter that you sent. My
Mitchell, he had written to me several times about you and said that one day he
would bring you to our home and introduce us all to the gringo Padre that he
met in Hell. He told us about the way that you would share your letters with
everyone when they were all homesick and blue. He said that you were teaching
him to read better, and fix his English so that he could get a good job and not
sweat in the fields anymore.
Whenever
he wrote about you I could see his face and I knew that he was smiling. When I
got the letter from the Marines, the one about him dying, it was cold, only two
lines, and it made me feel cold, it made me shudder, like I was standing on a
grave. It didn’t even sound like they were talking about a person; it was more
like they had lost a jeep or something. It made me very sad, it made me very
angry, it made me want to hurt them back. Forgive me Father, I know that these
are bad thoughts, but you are a priest and who can I confess these things to if
not you?
When
you’re letter came a few weeks later, I was afraid to open it. I didn’t open it
for many days. But one afternoon, after Miguel, my son, came home from school,
I watched him sitting at the table, eating a jelly sandwich. He looked so much
like his papa, and I thought of his letters and I went to read them all again.
Sitting on top of the stack was your unopened letter and I picked it up and
held it for a moment. I decided that it wasn’t from the Marines or the
Government because the address was hand written, so I opened it. Your words
were so sweet, so beautiful; they made my Mitchell, my husband, come to life
again. You gave me back my life in the few minutes that it took to read your
letter.
For this
I will never forget you, my prayers will always be with you Father. Please
remember me and Miguel to the Lord and the Blessed Virgin when you pray each
day and each night. I know that Mitchell is waiting for me in Heaven; I know
that I will see him again in his glory.
Peace be
with you Father Ethan, forever your sister in Christ,
Elena
I set the
letter down and saw that everyone was looking at me. Feeling the wetness on my
cheeks I realized that I had been crying. Shannon
scooted closer to me and put her arms around me, pulling my head close to hers.
She reached up and wiped the tears away from my face with a tissue and took the
letter from my hands. I didn’t protest, I just held onto Sophie and looked
across the table and past Carolyn, out at the snowdrifts in the street. The sun
had begun to peek out from behind the heavy cloud cover, and for a moment it
seemed like the forecasted storm might not materialize.
My face
felt warm as the light shined through the big window and I came out of my
little trance. By now the letter had made its way around the table and everyone
was quiet. Only Paul knew what I was feeling and he respectfully held his
tongue, he knew that words only brought the ghosts. I decided to take the
advise that I had given to Junior Martinez those many years ago, to leave the
war behind me, where it belonged, it had no place here, not now. Our cute but exhausted
waitress interrupted the awkward silence thankfully.
“Sorry for
the wait folks, here’s your check, hope everything was OK,” Patty said
cheerfully, tearing the slip of paper from her book and putting it on the table
in front of me. I started to reach for hit, but Paulie swatted my hand and
grabbed it.
“What do
you think you’re doing, this is all on me,” he said reaching past Shannon and pinching my cheek. Paul set the check on the
table and leaned forward to free his thick wallet from its snug housing in his
pants pocket. While he was digging for it Kenny reached over and grabbed the
check.
“Not so
fast ya big ape, this is on the Wong family today, Happy Belated Valentine’s Day one and all,” Ken said with a big
grin.
“Thanks
Kenny, that’s sweet,” Shannon said, reaching
across the table and squeezing his hand.
“You know,
I’ve been doing pretty well since Pop turned the family business over to my
management company. I’m showing him that he didn’t waste his money on all that
higher education. Me and my Harvard MBA are gonna open high-class Asian
restaurants from coast to coast my friends,” Kenny said, tugging at the lapels
of his Brooks Brothers jacket with pride.
“Show off,”
Carolyn said teasing her husband lovingly. He reached into his jacket and
retrieved a slender, posh, alligator skin billfold and pulled out his Diner’s
Club Card.
“Plastic man, it’s the future dudes, mark
my words, in thirty years cash will be passé!”
Ken set the card on top of the check and signaled
for our waitress to come over. Paul relaxed and settled back into his seat.
“You’re the
man Kenny-san,” he said.
“You’re the
man!”
“Dude, I’m
Chinese, not Japanese! Jeez, you’ve known me your whole life! You’ve
sat at my mother’s table and scarfed down gallons of hot and sour soup. My Pop
even gave you a Chinese name at your sixth birthday party at his restaurant
when the staff sang you the birthday song in Mandarin ya goofball,” Ken said
exasperated!
“Honey,
leave him alone, he didn’t mean anything by it,” Carolyn said rubbing Paul’s
shoulder sympathetically. Suddenly a little voice broke through all the huffing
and puffing and announced to the table.
“Uncle Ethan, I have to tinkle!” Sophie
sat up, stretched her little arms in a big girl yawn, and then began rubbing
her eyes with tiny fists.
“I’ll take
her,” Shannon said, reaching over to take the
child from my lap.
“Come on
baby, your Auntie Shannon will take you to the loo dear,” my sister
cooed.
“Hey, wait for me,” Carolyn said, “I’ve had
four cups of coffee and it’s a long drive back to Albany
“We’re
really going to have to make tracks after we drop Ethan and Paul at Logan
She elbowed
Kenny in the stomach, “Scoot over Ken, I really need to pee,” she pleaded,
pushing at her husband with her two hands and her head.
We all
rolled left out of the cramped corner booth so that she could catch up with
Shannon and Sophie. I got up right after Shannon
and Ken followed me as we started the exit daisy chain. Paul was last to get
out and the three of us males gathered up all of the coats while we waited for
the women to return. Patty came back with Ken’s receipt and waited to retrieve
his signature. While he signed the slip I pulled out a twenty-dollar bill from
my pocket and set it under an empty juice glass. I didn’t want to forget to
take care of Patty and make up for my shameful lack of compassion earlier. Shannon waived at us from near the front door and we made
our way over to her and then out of the diner. We spilled out onto the sidewalk
just as the clouds rolled back in, covering up the sun that had peeked out only
moments before. The wind began to blow a little harder and I turned my collar
up against the sudden chill. Ken pointed over to the parking lot while I
shouldered my duffel bag and followed the crowd to the station wagon.
“You sure
you’ve got room for this bunch, I mean with the storm coming and all,” I asked?
“We could
just take a cab you know,” I said, pointing at Paul and myself.
“Yeah, we
could just take a cab,” Paul chimed in.
“Don’t be
silly you two,” Carolyn said.
“Yeah,
don’t be silly Uncle Ethan, noodle head,”
Sophie added.
“Noodle
head, that’s a new one,” I said chuckling.
“Well at
least we know she didn’t learn it from Shannon ,
there are more than four letters,” Paul teased.
“SHUT IT,” Shannon
quipped at Paul, socking him hard in the arm.
“Owww! Why are the Irish so gosh-darned hot
headed!”
“If it’s a
donnybrook ya want, I’m just the girl that can give it to ya,” Shannon said harshly but playfully, as she walked quickly
to catch up with the Wong family.
She turned
back after a few strides and stuck her tongue out at Paul before she climbed
into the car. And if I’m not mistaken, I believe I saw a wicked little smile on
her face as she did so. I made another mental note; Shannon and I were going
have a talk soon that was for sure. I looked over at Paul to study his
reaction. He had none, which wasn’t unusual, so he was safe for the moment. Ken
opened the tailgate of the station wagon and I tossed in my duffel bag, as did
Paulie. We had been raised together as boy scouts and had been trained by the
same branch of the service. So we had similar notions about traveling, light and lean, and the less you carry the
less you ferry, that was our creed. I squeezed in next to Shannon who sat
between Paul and me. Ken and Carolyn were up front and Sophie was strapped into
a car seat between them.
“OK,
everybody comfy,” Ken asked?
“Guess
we’re off to Logan
I suddenly
detected a familiar odor and immediately looked over at Paul. Shannon
was already pinching her nose and looking his way as well.
“Oh man,
Paulie,” Kenny said from the driver’s seat, looking at Paul in the rear view
mirror.
“You
couldn’t cut us a break and let that bad boy go outside!”
“Hey, it wasn’t me, I swear,” Paul exclaimed,
raising both hands in the air as if he were surrendering.
A tiny,
evil giggle came from the front of the car and I looked that way in time to see
Carolyn pinching her nose and pointing at the small bundle of joy sitting next
to her. Four doors opened simultaneously and all of the people over three feet
tall exited the vehicle holding their breath and gasping for fresh air as soon
as their feet touched the snow covered ground.
“Darn it
Ken, I told you not to feed her any of your chili and cheese omelet, you know
what that stuff does to her,” Carolyn whined at her husband. Kenny blushed and
looked to the rest of us for support.
“It was
just a bite, I swear, one bite,” he
said, pleading his case.
We could
hear Sophie giggling loudly from inside the car while we stood around with the
doors open and waited for the chill breeze to whip through the vehicle and work
its magic. One by one we began to laugh hysterically until finally we had
become quite the spectacle.
People
began to point at us from inside diner and from the passing cars. Its funny how
God works I thought. A little bit ago my heart was aching because I was sad and
sorrowful. Now my stomach was aching because I was happy and feeling pretty
good about things, standing in the snow, freezing my testicles off alongside of
my family and my friends.
So it’s true,
God never gives us more than we can handle. I guess that means that the answers
are always in the love.
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